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Is Ross Barkley pondering legging it across Stanley Park? Photograph: Craig Brough/Action Images
The doyens of Fleet Street transfer tittle aren't messing about today. It's not a one of those "West Ham eye Nürnberg striker" days. Or a "Leicester City scout largely unheralded Argentinian" days. It's a day for huge, crashing, jumbo-rumours, rumours to rattle the windows and stretch the boundaries of the imagination.
BOOM! Dortmund's Jürgen Klopp is Manchester United's No1 target should they dispense with the services of David Moyes in the summer, says the Mirror.
OOF! Dortmund's Jürgen Klopp is Tottenham's No1 target when they dispense with the services of Tim Sherwood in the summer, says the Sun.
PHWOAR! Liverpool are preparing a shock £38m move for Everton's Ross Barkley.
POW! Chelsea want to splash £80m on the PSG frontmen Edinson Cavani and Ezequiel Lavezzi in the summer, and the pair are keen.
DOOSH! Arsène Wenger will offer Real Madrid £12m for the Brazilian playmaker Casemiro and a similar amount for Álvaro Morata.
ZAP! Internazionale are prepared to take Fernando Torres off Chelsea's hands.
BOING! Hatem Ben Arfa will be turfed out of Newcastle in the summer after another row with his team-mates.
DONG! The Schalke midfielder Julian Draxler and Bayer Leverkusen midfielder Lars Bender are also on Arsenal's summer shopping list.
SWAZZ! Chelsea have joined the race for the Everton defender John Stones, and will battle the Gunners for his signature.
COR! Liverpool, Everton and Arsenal have all sent scouts to Feyenoord to watch defenders Bruno Martins Indi and Stefan de Vrij.
SHEESH! Monaco want the Atlético Madrid manager Diego Simeone, Tottenham stopper Hugo Lloris, Arsenal defender Laurent Koscielny and Atlético striker Diego Costa.
WOOF! Manchester City are eager to snap up the 19-year-old San Lorenzo talent Ángel Correa.
BAM! Atlético Madrid want to replace the departing Costa with Romelu Lukaku, Javier Hernández or Roberto Soldado.
CLANG! Aston Villa will have a major clearout in the summer with Aleksandar Tonev, Nicklas Helenius, Antonio Luna, Yacouba Sylla and Jordan Bowery the first names out the door.
Also: West Ham are keen on the Nürnberg striker Josep Drmic.
And: Leicester City scouts will travel to Argentina this week to watch the Racing Club striker Luciano Vietto.
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